Well, after a whirlwind week or so it's finally sinking in that I'm going to be a Mum!
This is something I've always wanted and that my partner Tom wasn't sure about, in a very blokey way, and what with the RA and health trouble we had ended up agreeing not to try to start a family. However, Mother Nature had other ideas so here we are at 9+1 (that's 9 weeks + 1 day for those who haven't been on netmums etc.) and we're both feeling really excited!
It has been a really emotional few weeks for us as our oldest cat was diagnosed with cancer in June, before his 14th birthday in July. I had had him since he was 7 weeks old and weaned him as he was still on milk when he came to me. He finally lost his battle on 17th October and I held him and stroked his head as he was put to sleep. Well this was always going to be a very upsetting time but my waterworks seemed stuck 'on' for about a fortnight and I did think I had spent rather more time crying than usual! Now I know why, hormones gone mad!
I had been feeling quite dizzy and intermittently sick, but nothing that I don't experience between RA and meds so hadn't made the connection. I found out I was pregnant when I went to my GP and she suggested I do a test.
I was actually quite nervous about telling Tom, even men that are keen to have children often find it quite a shock, I've found, but he was super supportive right from that moment and also his very sensible, practical self asking me later that evening if I had any thoughts on finding out the sex at the 20 week scan! (I want to, he'd like a surprise). We both felt as if our house was one soul down and here was a new life to redress the balance. Isn't life amazing and confounding that way?
Over the next few days I realised I was going into remission (hooray!!) and we started to think about choices we'd make and what sort of hospital care would be forthcoming. I shall be under the excellent Maternity Clinic at King's College Hospital in Denmark Hill, South London which is where I go for RA and Renal. I've been invited to take part in 2 studies so will happily donate my time for a longer scan
and let them keep my blood, unless they think I'm medically too weird!
I already have dates for my booking appointment with a midwife, next week, and my 12 week scan is perfectly timed and will be on 2nd December - can't wait! Tom's taking a half-day off work so he doesn't miss anything.
Here are our thoughts and decisions so far:
Baby Brain sounds better than 'it' and Brain will be baby's surname
I was brought up bilingual (French/English) and so will be Baby Brain
We have no idea about names, except that they should be easily pronounceable in French and English and can't start with 'P'. Well, you can't spend life known as P. Brain can you?!
This week I have achieved:
Walking up and down stairs without struggling - wow!
I went down the steps into Brixton Tube for the first time in about 18 months and nostalgically felt like I was a 19 year old student again, although I was MUCH fitter and healthier then.
Going to the high street/hospital without my walking stick.
Swimming almost a mile - but not in one go!
I opened a new jar on my own
I haven't yet managed to get upstairs on a bus but would like to achieve this before I get too big and unbalanced.
I'm sure we'll have thousands more thoughts as we go along but for now those will do and I shall enjoy feeling in better health than I have done for years. Although I'm very tired so not going mad and still taking things easy.
Right, must stop giving into cravings for cake and eat more of the cravings involving oranges and apples!
Vicky xx
